Genre: Nonsense, breaking the fourth wall
Rating: 13+ (Slight profanity)
Word Count: ~1100
Chapter 1
Here we are folks. We see the hero, our protagonist facing off against a villain of the world.
(Arun, where are our hero and villain fighting? What? It doesn't matter? You just want to start the story with a fight? What's the point in that? Adrenaline rush? and it looks cool? What kind of a writer are you anyway? Yes, yes I will get back to narration.)
So, our hero and villain are facing off against each other in this place which we know nothing about and thus there is no way to know whether someone has an advantage or a disadvantage. I mean, at least the terrain of the fight place should be made known, but our writer is too lazy to do that.
(What? I am going off on a tangent? You are fucking right, I am going on a tangent. What, you will fire me? There are laws against such things you know. Huh, not in India?)
But the place and terrain doesn't matter for a fight. What matters is the heart and our glorious writer, praise be to thee, knows very well about the heart.
"So you are the hero, is it?" the villain said with a smile on his face.
"Yes." replied the Hero with a boring look.
"I guess you are fighting for something like justice. But let me tell you there is no such thing as justice in this world. If you came to know my backstory, you will know that ..."
The hero ran with blinding speed and kills the villain in a single slash with the sword.
The villain is gurgling blood through his mouth. "You are supposed to listen to my backstory and fall into a moral dilemma before making the decision to fight."
"Yeah, sorry about that. I have to go meet someone so I am in a bit of hurry. Bye bye."
(Arun, don't you think our hero is a bit weird?)
Chapter 2
Here we are folks. We see the hero, our protagonist facing off against another villain of the world.
(Oye Arun, we are not giving any backstory even today? The reader knows nothing about the hero you know and what he did to that poor villain in the last chapter doesn't necessarily give a good vibe about him. What? You are going to fix that in the next chapter? Oh ok.)
"So you are here hero! I have been waiting to fight you for a long time. Let's go Pikachu!" shouted Ash Ketchum.
(Wait, wait, wait! Won't we have trademark issues or something here? Oh, since this writing is non-profit, you think you won't have to worry about trademark infringement. That might work you know. Wait, if this work is non-profit, then how am I going to get paid? Oye. Hello. Hello? Hello? Are you there Arun? Crap, I have to get back to story)
"Pikachu use Thunder Shock", shouted Ash Ketchum.
The hero ran with blinding speed and kills Ash Ketchum in a single slash with a sword.
Ash Ketchum is gurgling blood through his mouth at this point. "Aren't we supposed to fight with our Pokemons? Also, shouldn't we be shouting our fighting moves before making the move?"
The hero goes silent for a while and then replies, "Single Slash Sword".
Ash looks at the hero confused, "that's too damn late you idiot" and then takes his final breath.
(First we made the protagonist of a popular anime as a villain. Then we killed him in an unfair fight. Why is the hero even fighting a 10 year old kid? Why is the 10 year old kid even a villain in the first place? And we are ending this chapter here? What was the point of this chapter anyway? Wait, you wanted to introduce the name of the killing move. I am speechless.)
Chapter 3
Here we are folks. We see the hero, our protagonist is standing together with a cute young girl.
(Phew, at least you changed something in this chapter.)
The cute young girl is a childhood friend of our hero.
(Wait, what? By the way where are they even meeting? Which city, town? How did they even come to meet? What, you are leaving it all to reader's imagination? That's too much man, just too much.)
The young girl is called Masoko.
(Why is the girl japanese? Why are you giggling, Arun? I will come to know the meaning behind the name later? Oh ok.)
"I heard that you are going around killing villains. You can't go around killing humans you know. You need to bring them to trial, so that we all observe due process", started Masoko as usual lecturing the hero in the ways of justice.
Suddenly from nowhere, a cockroach appeared near Masoko. Masoko shrieked and jumped. She shouted, "Hero! Look, its a cockroach, kill it! kill it! kill it!"
The hero looked at her with cold eyes, "that cockroach did nothing to you. All it wants to do, is get some food and live a happy life with its cockroach children and cockroach wife. And you want me to kill it. At the same time, you ask me to not kill those humans who hurt others for their own benefit. People like you disgust me!" The hero looked at Masoko with disgust.
Masoko hung her head and then looked up at him. Something inside her had changed. She looked deeply into eyes of the hero, held his hand and said, "Please insult me more!"
(Oye Mr. Arun, your perversions are coming through your writing. Wait, is her name a conjunction of Maso and ko? Stop giggling, that's just stupid. By the way, wasn't this supposed to be a story about hero and justice, why do I feel like we are digressing into a strange territory. What? You want this story to be your Lolita? You render me speechless)
Chapter 4
The hero and Masoko walk off into the sunset and lived happily ever after.
(What? Are we ending the story here? What's the point of this chapter then? What the hell about the backstory? What? You got bored? Do your job properly, damn you! Quick slacking around and give a proper backstory and ending. Don't glare at me like that, you know you are the one in the wrong here.)
Backstory:
Our hero at the beginning was jobless. He would live at his parent's house playing video games all day. One day, his mother asked him to buy some stuff from the grocery store. Usually, she wouldn't ask him to do anything because he was useless. But she had so much work that day, that she was forced to ask him. So, our hero went out for shopping. On the way, he found this very cool sword. He picked it up and then on that day decided that he will be a hero.
(I am sorry I asked for a backstory. Let's just end it, I can't take this any more)
Rating: 13+ (Slight profanity)
Word Count: ~1100
Chapter 1
Here we are folks. We see the hero, our protagonist facing off against a villain of the world.
(Arun, where are our hero and villain fighting? What? It doesn't matter? You just want to start the story with a fight? What's the point in that? Adrenaline rush? and it looks cool? What kind of a writer are you anyway? Yes, yes I will get back to narration.)
So, our hero and villain are facing off against each other in this place which we know nothing about and thus there is no way to know whether someone has an advantage or a disadvantage. I mean, at least the terrain of the fight place should be made known, but our writer is too lazy to do that.
(What? I am going off on a tangent? You are fucking right, I am going on a tangent. What, you will fire me? There are laws against such things you know. Huh, not in India?)
But the place and terrain doesn't matter for a fight. What matters is the heart and our glorious writer, praise be to thee, knows very well about the heart.
"So you are the hero, is it?" the villain said with a smile on his face.
"Yes." replied the Hero with a boring look.
"I guess you are fighting for something like justice. But let me tell you there is no such thing as justice in this world. If you came to know my backstory, you will know that ..."
The hero ran with blinding speed and kills the villain in a single slash with the sword.
The villain is gurgling blood through his mouth. "You are supposed to listen to my backstory and fall into a moral dilemma before making the decision to fight."
"Yeah, sorry about that. I have to go meet someone so I am in a bit of hurry. Bye bye."
(Arun, don't you think our hero is a bit weird?)
Chapter 2
Here we are folks. We see the hero, our protagonist facing off against another villain of the world.
(Oye Arun, we are not giving any backstory even today? The reader knows nothing about the hero you know and what he did to that poor villain in the last chapter doesn't necessarily give a good vibe about him. What? You are going to fix that in the next chapter? Oh ok.)
"So you are here hero! I have been waiting to fight you for a long time. Let's go Pikachu!" shouted Ash Ketchum.
(Wait, wait, wait! Won't we have trademark issues or something here? Oh, since this writing is non-profit, you think you won't have to worry about trademark infringement. That might work you know. Wait, if this work is non-profit, then how am I going to get paid? Oye. Hello. Hello? Hello? Are you there Arun? Crap, I have to get back to story)
"Pikachu use Thunder Shock", shouted Ash Ketchum.
The hero ran with blinding speed and kills Ash Ketchum in a single slash with a sword.
Ash Ketchum is gurgling blood through his mouth at this point. "Aren't we supposed to fight with our Pokemons? Also, shouldn't we be shouting our fighting moves before making the move?"
The hero goes silent for a while and then replies, "Single Slash Sword".
Ash looks at the hero confused, "that's too damn late you idiot" and then takes his final breath.
(First we made the protagonist of a popular anime as a villain. Then we killed him in an unfair fight. Why is the hero even fighting a 10 year old kid? Why is the 10 year old kid even a villain in the first place? And we are ending this chapter here? What was the point of this chapter anyway? Wait, you wanted to introduce the name of the killing move. I am speechless.)
Chapter 3
Here we are folks. We see the hero, our protagonist is standing together with a cute young girl.
(Phew, at least you changed something in this chapter.)
The cute young girl is a childhood friend of our hero.
(Wait, what? By the way where are they even meeting? Which city, town? How did they even come to meet? What, you are leaving it all to reader's imagination? That's too much man, just too much.)
The young girl is called Masoko.
(Why is the girl japanese? Why are you giggling, Arun? I will come to know the meaning behind the name later? Oh ok.)
"I heard that you are going around killing villains. You can't go around killing humans you know. You need to bring them to trial, so that we all observe due process", started Masoko as usual lecturing the hero in the ways of justice.
Suddenly from nowhere, a cockroach appeared near Masoko. Masoko shrieked and jumped. She shouted, "Hero! Look, its a cockroach, kill it! kill it! kill it!"
The hero looked at her with cold eyes, "that cockroach did nothing to you. All it wants to do, is get some food and live a happy life with its cockroach children and cockroach wife. And you want me to kill it. At the same time, you ask me to not kill those humans who hurt others for their own benefit. People like you disgust me!" The hero looked at Masoko with disgust.
Masoko hung her head and then looked up at him. Something inside her had changed. She looked deeply into eyes of the hero, held his hand and said, "Please insult me more!"
(Oye Mr. Arun, your perversions are coming through your writing. Wait, is her name a conjunction of Maso and ko? Stop giggling, that's just stupid. By the way, wasn't this supposed to be a story about hero and justice, why do I feel like we are digressing into a strange territory. What? You want this story to be your Lolita? You render me speechless)
Chapter 4
The hero and Masoko walk off into the sunset and lived happily ever after.
(What? Are we ending the story here? What's the point of this chapter then? What the hell about the backstory? What? You got bored? Do your job properly, damn you! Quick slacking around and give a proper backstory and ending. Don't glare at me like that, you know you are the one in the wrong here.)
Backstory:
Our hero at the beginning was jobless. He would live at his parent's house playing video games all day. One day, his mother asked him to buy some stuff from the grocery store. Usually, she wouldn't ask him to do anything because he was useless. But she had so much work that day, that she was forced to ask him. So, our hero went out for shopping. On the way, he found this very cool sword. He picked it up and then on that day decided that he will be a hero.
(I am sorry I asked for a backstory. Let's just end it, I can't take this any more)
